Have you ever wanted to do something that you’re really passionate about? Something like joining a drama group or choir but once you mention the idea to your friends they discourage you? Yeah, I thought so. It happens to everyone at some point.
Friends, as lovable and nice to have as they are can sometimes hinder you from achieving your goals or doing something you really like. Most of the time they mean no harm and feel they’re doing their duty by telling you how they feel but it still hurts when you want to do something and everyone is against it.
Most of the time, we want to please our friends and family. We care about what they think. Even though people say that they don’t care what others think, in my humble opinion I don’t think that’s completely possible. It’s human nature for us to want to gain approval from our friends when we do certain things. However, there should be a limit to how far you should go because you want to please a friend.
Infinitesimal things like what to wear and stuff like that can be tolerated but when it comes to bigger and more important things, I think you should listen to your heart. I’m not saying you shouldn’t let your friends tell you what to wear and what food to eat but common, there are more important things than that. For example, when it comes to schoolwork or academics, I feel you should go for what you’re good at and not go for what you know you won’t do well in just to please a friend or your parents.
I have a friend who in Year 10 chose to attend Science Classes because she felt that was what was expected of her. She knew she wouldn’t do really well because quite frankly she isn’t cut out for Science. She’s not interested in Physics and if you’re not interested how can you pass? She really wanted to attend Arts Classes but because she wanted to please everyone she didn’t listen to herself. She was in Science Class for the whole of Year 10 and she cried all the time because she was failing and she didn’t know what to do. But, at the beginning of Year 11, she decided to switch to Arts and that’s where she is right now. She’s doing very well and she doesn’t look sad or confused anymore in class.
Now I know that for parents, it can be quite hard if they have certain dreams for you. You obviously don’t want to crush their dreams so you go along with their plans. For example, my Dad wants me to become a Doctor of some sorts and luckily for him I want to become a Pediatrician. He told me that if I ever change my mind he’ll have no problem with it but I know that if I do, he’ll be disappointed. No one wants to disappoint their parents, I feel you. My only solution to this problem is to sit them down and explain to them the reason why you’re not cut out for a particular thing.
Listening to yourself and doing what you want is very nice because it helps you achieve your own goals instead of copying or following someone else’s path. I have friends who are very opinionated when it comes to fashion. If they don’t like something that you’re wearing or your hairstyle, they’re going to tell you in a not-so-nice manner. I love them but it can be very annoying. For example, I don’t like to wear jeans. It’s not religious or anything, I just don’t like wearing jeans. I like to wear dresses, yes, I’m quite girly. One time we were going for another friend’s birthday get together and I was trying to choose what to wear. I chose a polka dot dress, it was knee length and very pretty. My friend disagreed and pulled out a cropped top and some jeans. She kept on saying ‘Omg Demilade, this will look so good on you!‘ and so I went with her idea even though I felt uncomfortable through out that day.
Friends always have something to say about everything. Everyone has something to say about everything actually but always listen to yourself and do what you want because at the end of the day, who’s there? YOU!
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